The different types of Economics in cows

http://entrepreneurshipinmalaysia.blogspot.com/

SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows, so you

give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows. The State

takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:

You have 2 cows. The State

takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:

You have 2 cows. The State

takes both and shoots you.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two

cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy

grows. You sell them and retire on the

income.

MALAYSIAN BUMIPUTRAISM:

You have two

cows, the State takes one and gives it

to your bumiputra neighbour. From the

milk you sell from the remaining cow

you buy a bull and mulitply your herd.

The State take 30 per cent of your

herd as it grows and give them to your

bumiputra neigbour. Your bumiputra

neighbour has a kenduri each time they

receive a cow.

UMNOPUTRAISM :

The State takes 30 per

cent of your herd and parks them in

Switzerland in the name of some UMNO

official or close relatives, friends

and sons-in-law.

MALAYSIAN GOVERNMENT LINKED OR

BUMIPUTRA CORPORATION :

You have two

cows. You employ mainly bumiputras to

milk them. But both cows have been

sent to the kenduri, so the State

gives you more cows and write off the

losses of the first two. After several

kenduris later, you invite an American

or German Corporation to turnaround

the losses. The Japanese have however

already taken their two original cows

back home to Japan .

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You sell one, and force the

other to produce the milk of four

cows.Later, you hire a consultant to

analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:

You have two

cows. You sell three of them to your

publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-

law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated

general offer so that you get all four

cows back, with a tax exemption for

five cows. The milk rights of the six

cows are transferred via an

intermediary to a Cayman Island

Company secretly owned by the majority

shareholder who sells the rights to

all seven cows back to your listed

company. The annual report says the

company owns eight cows, with an

option on one more. Sell one cow to

buy a new president of the United

States , leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the

release. The public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You go on strike, organise a

riot, and block the roads, because you

want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You redesign them so they are

one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk. You

then create a clever cow cartoon image

called 'Cowkimon' and market it

worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You re-engineer them so they

live for 100 years, eat once a month,

and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two

cows, but you don't know where they

are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You count them and learn you

have five cows. You count them again

and learn you have 42 cows. You count

them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows because you're

sobering up and open another bottle of

vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5,000

cows. None of them belong to you. You

charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINA CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You have 300 people milking

them. You claim that you have full

employment, and high bovine

productivity, and arrest the newsman

who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. You worship them

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two

cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION:

Everyone thinks you

have lots of cows. You tell them that

you have none. No-one believes you, so

they bomb you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least

now you are part of a Democracy...